“A Real Man” vs “A Good Man” vs “A Godly Man”


I have read so many quotes, cliche’s, and descriptions about what a real man is and is not. I’ve read what a real man will and won’t do. It’s no wonder the single women are still single. What you are looking for is non-existent. You don’t need a real man, or even a good man, but you need a godly man.

Definition of real- actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed

A real man is merely a human being who actually exists. Being that he is human, he will make mistakes. He will some times make you cry with or without knowing he did. He will say things out of anger. He will say things out of love. He will hold you and comfort you, yet he will also want his own space. He will find you attractive and he will find other women attractive as well. He will get up and go to work or may want to sit around and play video games all day. He has all the male organs and may want to use them on you and and somebody else. A real man has fathered some children that he may or may not take care of. He could be hardworking or he could be a bum. This man is real. This man exists. But just because he is real and in existence doesn’t mean he is the man for you.

Then, we have the “Good Man.” The good man may or may not have had a good upbringing. But he has decided that he won’t ever treat his lady or his children like he and his mother were treated, unless he had a good example. He may open doors for you and even pull out your chair. He will be sure to provide for you. A good man will accept you and your children. A good man may very well want to sleep with you. After all, he is a man. A good man may even want to move in with you and help you pay your bills, or ask you to move in with him. A good man will even pump your gas and wash your car, and he is not afraid of getting his hands dirty. But he may also like to have an occasional beer or two. He might be a good man, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he is a saved man. This good man may still like the club scene every now and then. This good man may even cuss and still go to church. He is the one who you will try to justify his sin because at least he is in the church. He will make sure he is good to you and to your family. A good man is very affectionate and gives you the companionship you need. He usually has his own house and car and just needs the right woman to share it with. This man is the one most women are willing to settle for. And it is your choice if you want to settle for this good man. But you don’t need a real man or a good man, you need a godly man.

The “Godly Man” first loves the Lord which enables him to love you too. He doesn’t just attend church, but he understands that he is the church. This godly man is living in a holy manner. He doesn’t just quote the scriptures, but he studies them and applies them to his life. He is not a wolf in sheep clothing. Many times you will mistake a good man for this godly man. But the distinct difference is that he bears the fruit of the spirit. He doesn’t cuss, drink, club, fornicate, or do any of these compromising things. This godly man loves to worship. He is the one who will pray for you when you are sick. He is the one who will kiss your tears away when you are feeling down. He is the one who will provide for you and still find ways to show you how much he loves you. A godly man will not try to sleep with you. He will want to marry you and make you his wife. A godly man is not perfect, and he will also make mistakes. But he will right his wrongs and ask forgiveness as he walks out his journey. He may even make you cry, but he will also make it right. A godly man leads his family on a path of righteousness. He is strong enough to handle a strong woman, and yet gentle enough to finesse her emotions. A godly man has his moments of weakness, but he knows how to call on Jesus for help. A godly man will defend his family from spiritual attacks as well as natural opposition. He is a warrior. He is a friend. He is a lover. He is a father. He is real. He is good. And he does exist. So stop thinking that a “Real Man” is supposed to be perfect. You won’t ever find the perfect man. And stop thinking that the man for you is living contrary to the word and yet still in church. That is not for you. Stop wasting time looking for a man and start looking for the Father, who already has the right man for you. And the next time you are thinking about being with a real man or settling for a good man, why not wait on God to give you a real, good, godly man! He is out there let him find you! #Happy Friday #WomenintheWaiting

Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Be encouraged!

T Brown

Be That Leader!


All day long I have been hearing, “Lead by example.” The body of Christ is falling because leadership is failing. We have to be careful of what we ask people to follow when they are under our leadership. Everyone is not strong enough to handle being in certain atmospheres or doing certain activities because of what they came out of.

1 Cor 8:9 But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.

There are certain liberties in life that we are free to partake in, but if it causes our brother or sister to fall, we should abstain doing it. Here is an example. Just because you don’t see anything wrong with certain types of music, if you see a new christian has been delivered from the club and secular music, why would you invite them to a gathering with the drinking and smoking they just came out of? We should be setting an example they can follow. if you claim the name of Jesus and are a leader, you need to come out too.

2 Cor 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

Do you love your brothers and sisters in Christ enough to raise up the standard of holiness in your life? When they look at your life, do they see Jesus in you, or do you look just like the world? is your life consistent enough that the newest babe in Christ knows you are saved and being sanctified daily? If no one else is living holy, can they count on you to step up, stand out, and be a living sacrifice, which is our reasonable service to God?

Don’t get me wrong, leading by example doesn’t mean being perfect. But there is clearly a difference between making a mistake and living in sin. So, if you decide to go astray, do us all a favor and don’t take God’s people on the wrong path with you. Just like a responsible parent looks for a caregiver to keep an eye on the babies while she is out playing, drop those babes off to a church that you know is preaching, teaching, and living the truth. Send them to someone who will nurture them and help them grow spiritually. If you can’t be the example, have a seat or two and let God work on you. We all can fall prey to the tactics of the enemy and our flesh, but we have a responsibility not only to God but to the people who we are accountable for.

1 pet 5:2-3 NLT Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example.

If you make a mistake as all leaders will, then ask forgiveness, reconcile what was broken, and learn from it. What better way to show humility than a leader repenting before God and the church. There is so much pride in leadership that people don’t see true repentance anymore. People are angry and holding grudges because that is what is being taught through the examples. This is the time for leaders to live what they are preaching. It is time to live holy and stop compromising. The world needs to see a difference, even if there is only one person who is willing to take a stand. Be that one! Be that difference! Be that leader!

Be encouraged and make a difference,

T Brown