Getting Ready For Marriage?

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This quote really grabbed my attention. As you all know, the Women in the Waiting ministry originated from my experience of being unequally yoked. Back in the day, we were a hot mess. We suffered a lot of losses, pain and grief because of who we were before Christ. I wouldn’t dare want my sons or daughter to be anything like we were. It was the grace of God that saved us, and saved our marriage. “23 Years!”  All of you single ladies and gentlemen have a choice. You do not have to go through some of the drama that those ahead of you have gone through. Here are a few things to think about as you are on your journey to the married life.

  1. Have a committed relationship to the Lord. If you do not fully submit to the will of God, you will not fully submit to your spouse. You will want things your way and be very self serving.
  2. Remember that who you decide to marry is your decision only. People can offer you great advice, but they will not be the one who wakes up with the person you say I do to, you will. Make sure it is your decision.
  3. Preparation for marriage does not begin when you get engaged. You should already be looking like a wife, walking like a wife, and talking like a wife. The Bible says a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor. If you still look like you are available, you may attract a man, but not necessarily your husband.
  4. Surround yourself with couples who have successful marriages, that can plug a nugget in here and there. There are many biblical principles that will work for every marriage. However, different people respond to situations in different ways. Get some insight that may prepare you for marriage and then use the tools to figure out what may or may not work for you. Once again, every marriage is different.
  5. Don’t marry just for love. Love runs out. Feelings change. There truly is a thin line between love and hate. Love alone is not enough to get married. There also needs to be purpose and commitment. Your spouse should be able to walk with you, and support you as the two of you fulfill your purpose together.
  6. There is no such thing as “the one” You will spend the rest of your life looking for “the one” when all you need to do as let God send “the right one” for you. God won’t make you marry anyone. We have free will. But he will guide you along the way.  Let him lead you.
  7. Relationships are work. If you have to work really hard to get along before you get married…you will work overtime to keep the marriage. Common decency towards one another should come naturally. If it is hard for them to treat you right, give it some thought.
  8. There should be some common interests. If there are certain things that you absolutely love and they can’t stand, you need to be okay with that if you pursue a future together.
  9. You need to know what your deal breakers and your boundaries are before they come along. If your boundary is “no house visits”, that should be respected. People who have no respect for your boundaries have no respect for you…and vice versa. If your deal breaker is him not wanting kids, don’t compromise. If you want children wait on the one God sends you who wants them as well.
  10. There should be respect being shown on both sides. If your mate belittles you, threatens you, tries to control you, blames you for his/her mistakes…that is a serious red flag!
  11. If you can’t be honest with the person you are seeing, you may have personal issues. If the person makes you feel uncomfortable being you and being honest about your life, that might be a red flag.
  12. Lastly, like the quote says….don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son like him. That is a good thought because chances are, if you have children…they may be like the person you marry.

Wait on the Lord and again I say wait. If you want to be married, prepare yourself to be married. And while you wait, make God your number one and keep him as your number one even after the husband or the wife comes. Two plus God can last forever.

Be encouraged,

T Brown

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Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart faileth but….

How many times have we heard, “Get out of your feelings?” Our feelings will fail us every time. We get angry and blow up. We get sad and go into depression. We get frustrated and give up. There is no victory in our flesh. As Psalms tells us, our flesh and heart will fail, BUT GOD! Who needs a “BUT GOD” this morning? God is the strength of your heart. When you look back at situations and can’t figure out how you survived that one, know that it was only because of God. He is your portion. Portion is not the whole thing, it’s a part. He is the missing parts in your life. Let him fill the void and be your strength. You are guaranteed to be made whole. We will all have down times in our life, but we have to choose to experience them in a better way. So, get your day started with a “portion” of God. You need a portion here, a portion there, after a while you will be filled with his love, joy, peace and all of the wonderful attributes of who he is. I hope this encouraged someone today.

Be encourage,

T Brown

Wednesday! Worth Day!

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It’s Wednesday! Worth Day! I was wondering what value have you placed on your life? Have you limited the blessings you are entitled to? Have you blocked certain avenues that should be open in your life? God values us as his children. His love is not based on whether we are saved. He sent his son just to prove how much he loves us and wants us to be in fellowship with him. We are worth every thing God has for us. We choose to devalue our lives.

We are the ones who are so impatient that we are willing to accept a man who is married and claim he will be our husband after the divorce. We are the ones who are willing to be toyed with by a player who is out with two or three other side chicks. We are the ones who choose to remain a side chick instead of being the only wife. We are the ones who limit who God can use to speak into our lives because we don’t want to hear the truth. We are the ones who choose the sin we are tempted with over the escape we can be rescued with. We are the ones who are willing to accept anything that was better than the last thing, even though it’s not what God wants for us.

We don’t value ourselves the way God does. We don’t believe in ourselves the way God does. We don’t see ourselves the way God does. If we did, we would respect and honor ourselves the way God does. Don’t try to rush God into blessing you. Sometimes he will give you want you want instead of what you’re worth. Have patience and serve until he produces your blessing. Today is Wednesday, worth day! Are you worth waiting for? And are you waiting for what you are worth?

Be encouraged,

T Brown

Bad Day, Bad Life? or Great Day, Great Life!

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No one really breaks life down by the day. We usually have long weeks, busy months and then some. But if you think about it, your life is made up of every day that you live. Why spend an entire day depressed and crying? If you do, eventually your life will become a sad and depressed life. If you wake up with joy and thanks for life, health, and strength, your joyful day will become a joyful life. Choose how you will live your life by changing how you spend your days. Think about what you will do today and how you choose to act and react to situations. Today could literally be the beginning of the best days of a better life. You have a choice! So, have a great day and especially a great life!

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:

Be encouraged,

T Broown

“A Real Man” vs “A Good Man” vs “A Godly Man”

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I have read so many quotes, cliche’s, and descriptions about what a real man is and is not. I’ve read what a real man will and won’t do. It’s no wonder the single women are still single. What you are looking for is non-existent. You don’t need a real man, or even a good man, but you need a godly man.

Definition of real- actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed

A real man is merely a human being who actually exists. Being that he is human, he will make mistakes. He will some times make you cry with or without knowing he did. He will say things out of anger. He will say things out of love. He will hold you and comfort you, yet he will also want his own space. He will find you attractive and he will find other women attractive as well. He will get up and go to work or may want to sit around and play video games all day. He has all the male organs and may want to use them on you and and somebody else. A real man has fathered some children that he may or may not take care of. He could be hardworking or he could be a bum. This man is real. This man exists. But just because he is real and in existence doesn’t mean he is the man for you.

Then, we have the “Good Man.” The good man may or may not have had a good upbringing. But he has decided that he won’t ever treat his lady or his children like he and his mother were treated, unless he had a good example. He may open doors for you and even pull out your chair. He will be sure to provide for you. A good man will accept you and your children. A good man may very well want to sleep with you. After all, he is a man. A good man may even want to move in with you and help you pay your bills, or ask you to move in with him. A good man will even pump your gas and wash your car, and he is not afraid of getting his hands dirty. But he may also like to have an occasional beer or two. He might be a good man, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he is a saved man. This good man may still like the club scene every now and then. This good man may even cuss and still go to church. He is the one who you will try to justify his sin because at least he is in the church. He will make sure he is good to you and to your family. A good man is very affectionate and gives you the companionship you need. He usually has his own house and car and just needs the right woman to share it with. This man is the one most women are willing to settle for. And it is your choice if you want to settle for this good man. But you don’t need a real man or a good man, you need a godly man.

The “Godly Man” first loves the Lord which enables him to love you too. He doesn’t just attend church, but he understands that he is the church. This godly man is living in a holy manner. He doesn’t just quote the scriptures, but he studies them and applies them to his life. He is not a wolf in sheep clothing. Many times you will mistake a good man for this godly man. But the distinct difference is that he bears the fruit of the spirit. He doesn’t cuss, drink, club, fornicate, or do any of these compromising things. This godly man loves to worship. He is the one who will pray for you when you are sick. He is the one who will kiss your tears away when you are feeling down. He is the one who will provide for you and still find ways to show you how much he loves you. A godly man will not try to sleep with you. He will want to marry you and make you his wife. A godly man is not perfect, and he will also make mistakes. But he will right his wrongs and ask forgiveness as he walks out his journey. He may even make you cry, but he will also make it right. A godly man leads his family on a path of righteousness. He is strong enough to handle a strong woman, and yet gentle enough to finesse her emotions. A godly man has his moments of weakness, but he knows how to call on Jesus for help. A godly man will defend his family from spiritual attacks as well as natural opposition. He is a warrior. He is a friend. He is a lover. He is a father. He is real. He is good. And he does exist. So stop thinking that a “Real Man” is supposed to be perfect. You won’t ever find the perfect man. And stop thinking that the man for you is living contrary to the word and yet still in church. That is not for you. Stop wasting time looking for a man and start looking for the Father, who already has the right man for you. And the next time you are thinking about being with a real man or settling for a good man, why not wait on God to give you a real, good, godly man! He is out there let him find you! #Happy Friday #WomenintheWaiting

Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Be encouraged!

T Brown