Being Single is not a Curse!

Our perspective of being single and being married is hilarious. Single people are dying to get married and married people are wishing they were still single! Either life is wonderful with God and miserable without him. Some equate single to being lonely. If you think you’re lonely now, wait until you are married. Having a husband does not cure loneliness, it magnifies it. It’s a miserable thing to have a mate that doesn’t make you their priority. You are hungry for all this ATTENTION from the man you’re married to and you don’t get it…..deal with your loneliness first. Only God can fill your void. But here are some amazing things about being single!

  1. Single people, you can come and go without answering to anyone. (I’m running to the store, be right back!)
  2. You can spend your money on anything you want without “Making a decision together.”
  3. You can come home from work and not have to worry about cooking for anyone. (Thank God for Zaxby’s lol)
  4. You don’t have to deal with another personality or mood swings, and trying to please somebody else. .
  5. You can lay out prostrate in the Lord, uninterrupted in any room of your house at any given time (Unless of course, you have children šŸ˜) Mommy, why is your door locked? lol
  6. You can travel where you want! (If you have time off)
  7. You can live where you want! (eeny meeny miny moe)
  8. You can hang out with your girls all night long. As a matter of fact, you can have sleepovers and watch chick flicks like Baggage Claim, Just Wright, and Mother’s Day while eating a bunch of unnecessary calories! (From my lips to my hips, yay!!)

But seriously, singleness is what you make it to be. It can be amazing or it can me miserable! Enjoy it to the fullest because if you don’t, you will find yourself being one of those married people looking back at your single life, wishing you were single again. Being Single is not a curse, it’s a blessing! And once you master the art of singleness, you will move on to the ministry of marriage. Then you will want me to blog, “Being married is not a Curse!” Just kidding. All smiles and have a Happy Friday!

Be encouraged,

T Brown

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Getting Ready For Marriage?

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This quote really grabbed my attention. As you all know, the Women in the Waiting ministry originated from my experience of being unequally yoked. Back in the day, we were a hot mess. We suffered a lot of losses, pain and grief because of who we were before Christ. I wouldn’t dare want my sons or daughter to be anything like we were. It was the grace of God that saved us, and saved our marriage. “23 Years!” Ā All of you single ladies and gentlemen have a choice. You do not have to go through some of the drama that those ahead of you have gone through. Here are a few things to think about as you are on your journey to the married life.

  1. Have a committed relationship to the Lord. If you do not fully submit to the will of God, you will not fully submit to your spouse. You will want things your way and be very self serving.
  2. Remember that who you decide to marry is your decision only. People can offer you great advice, but they will not be the one who wakes up with the person you say I do to, you will. Make sure it is your decision.
  3. Preparation for marriage does not begin when you get engaged. You should already be looking like a wife, walking like a wife, and talking like a wife. The Bible says a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor. If you still look like you are available, you may attract a man, but not necessarily your husband.
  4. Surround yourself with couples who have successful marriages, that can plug a nugget in here and there. There are many biblical principles that will work for every marriage. However, different people respond to situations in different ways. Get some insight that may prepare you for marriage and then use the tools to figure out what may or may not work for you. Once again, every marriage is different.
  5. Don’t marry just for love. Love runs out. Feelings change. There truly is a thin line between love and hate. Love alone is not enough to get married. There also needs to be purpose and commitment. Your spouse should be able to walk with you, and support you as the two of you fulfill your purpose together.
  6. There is no such thing as “the one” You will spend the rest of your life looking for “the one” when all you need to do as let God send “the right one” for you. God won’t make you marry anyone. We have free will. But he will guide you along the way. Ā Let him lead you.
  7. Relationships are work. If you have to work really hard to get along before you get married…you will work overtime to keep the marriage. Common decency towards one another should come naturally. If it is hard for them to treat you right, give it some thought.
  8. There should be some common interests. If there are certain things that you absolutely love and they can’t stand, you need to be okay with that if you pursue a future together.
  9. You need to know what your deal breakers and your boundaries are before they come along. If your boundary is “no house visits”, that should be respected. People who have no respect for your boundaries have no respect for you…and vice versa. If your deal breaker is him not wanting kids, don’t compromise. If you want children wait on the one God sends you who wants them as well.
  10. There should be respect being shown on both sides. If your mate belittles you, threatens you, tries to control you, blames you for his/her mistakes…that is a serious red flag!
  11. If you can’t be honest with the person you are seeing, you may have personal issues. If the person makes you feel uncomfortable being you and being honest about your life, that might be a red flag.
  12. Lastly, like the quote says….don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son like him. That is a good thought because chances are, if you have children…they may be like the person you marry.

Wait on the Lord and again I say wait. If you want to be married, prepare yourself to be married. And while you wait, make God your number one and keep him as your number one even after the husband or the wife comes. Two plus God can last forever.

Be encouraged,

T Brown

***WARNING! IT’S A DISTRACTION***

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We hear it over and over again, that you must be extremely careful with distractions. The minute you make up your mind to start walking out the plans God has for you is the moment people will start to pull on you. You are thinking God sent them for you to minister to or pour into and they were sent to suck the life out of you. You have to know the difference between God sent and some just went. Only God can save. Only God can heal. Only God can deliver. He may use us as vessels, but if he is not in the midst of what you are doing, all parties will suffer. Do not get ahead of God by trying to save somebody that God has not called out of their sin. The Bible specifically let’s us know that if he is calling them out, they will come out!

John 6:37Ā All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.

There is an appointed time for everything. You have to let people make up their mind on their own terms. God assigns some to plant, some to water, and eventually he will do the increasing. Don’t burn yourself out with people who have no intentions of changing their life. You have to always remember what you were like when you were in the world. When you were ready to give it up, you did. But as long as you were doing what you did, you weren’t thinking about church, the preacher, or even the scriptures you once heard. Use wisdom when ministering to people. Make sure you are advancing the kingdom and not hindering your own personal walk.

John 10:28-29 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.

Once again, he is letting us know, his children belong to him. They will not be plucked out of his hand. He will give them life that will last Ā an eternity. Start leading people to Christ and stop trying to be their Savior. Believe me, if he is calling them, they will answer. Continue to love, pray, fast, and be an example of Christ. It will not only save you time and heartache, but it will make ministering more effective when it is time. Be led! Be love! But don’t be distracted!

Be encouraged,

T Brown

What Time Are You Living in?

Image result for past present and futureWe are supposed to forget what is behind us, live in the now, and look toward our future. But, how often do we find ourselves living in the past, looking at the now, and forgetting we have a future? Yes, we live in past hurts, past failures, and past disappointments. You are not there any more so why do you keep living in it? We look at our present finances, our present understanding, and our present spirituality. Stop looking at where you are now, it is only temporary. We forget we have a future destiny, future relationships, and future blessings. These are things to come so, you should always be hopeful and full of faith that things will get better. Lord, help us to change our perspective and put everything in its rightful place, in our lives. Whether it was our past, is our present, or will be our future- You were, are, and will be there! Help us to appreciate and embrace every moment of our life. Help us to let go of the things that have come to an end. Most of all, help us to walk into what lies ahead.

Be encouraged,

T Brown

Girl, If I Were You…..

psalm-1Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

Where do you get your advice from? Have you ever had a situation so messed up that you had to talk to somebody about it? Of course, we all have. The issue comes when we are talking to ungodly people with ungodly advice. I am reminded of a time I was waiting on God to save my husband. One of the sisters in the church said, “I couldn’t be you, I would have left him a long time ago.” OK, wait a minute. That doesn’t sound like faith or God. There were a few things wrong with what she said.

  1. If my desire is to see my husband saved, anything you speak contrary to that does not come from God. I am standing on his promises and his word!
  2. God hates divorce, so why would you encourage me to leave him? God can fix any marriage with a little bit of faith and a whole lot of patience.
  3. You are not me and you are not in my shoes, so you don’t know what you would do if you were me. Everyone reacts differently in their situation, one can only speak for them self.

We have to be careful of the advice we get from people. In this case I didn’t even ask any advice from her, she just started asking me questions and felt like telling me her opinion in the matter. Be careful of people who start asking you about your business. Everyone doesn’t mean you well.

  1. Any time people offer you advice that goes against the word of God, you should walk away.
  2. If they are offering you advice that didn’t work in their life, don’t attempt it in yours.
  3. And remember this, misery loves company. Some people just want you to be as miserable as they are, so they want you to be in the same predicament they are in.

Stop following the counsel of the ungodly and start following Christ. He is the only one who will bring you to an expected end full of hope, joy, and everlasting life. Sometimes we just need to walk out the situations we are in and let them mature us. If he brings us out of everything meant to grow us, we will forever remainĀ babes in Christ, with Ā no power! Seek God first and everything else will be added! He will even add godly people to your life who can give you godly advice when necessary. Position yourself around people who will speak life into you. If someone’s advice or so-called encouragement leaves you in a state of confusion, defeat, and bitterness, you just got hoodwinked! That was sent from the enemy. God is not the author of confusion. Rebuke every word planted, pull it out by the root and close your ears to the person speaking in your life. Believe me, you will be much better off!

Be encouraged,

T Brown

Life Lessons

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We live better when we can appreciate everything and everyone who contributes something to our lives. Life is a journey full of lessons to be taught and learned. What have you learned from the people who have come and gone in your life? Everyone who walks out of your life is not necessarily a bad person and weren’t necessarily meant to leave. Some people leave because of Ā how you treat them. We have a hard time looking in the mirror and owning our part in failed relationships. Everyone who stays in your life is not necessarily on your side, either. Sometimes they are the Judas that pushes you right into your destiny. The betrayal hurts so bad, but in the end, the victory will be sweeter than honey. We will never be able to figure this whole thing out, but we can live in the now and learn as we go. Whether your lessons are meant to be painful, painless or priceless, let them teach you what you need to learn. #LifeLessons

Be encouraged,

T Brown