Getting Ready For Marriage?

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This quote really grabbed my attention. As you all know, the Women in the Waiting ministry originated from my experience of being unequally yoked. Back in the day, we were a hot mess. We suffered a lot of losses, pain and grief because of who we were before Christ. I wouldn’t dare want my sons or daughter to be anything like we were. It was the grace of God that saved us, and saved our marriage. “23 Years!”  All of you single ladies and gentlemen have a choice. You do not have to go through some of the drama that those ahead of you have gone through. Here are a few things to think about as you are on your journey to the married life.

  1. Have a committed relationship to the Lord. If you do not fully submit to the will of God, you will not fully submit to your spouse. You will want things your way and be very self serving.
  2. Remember that who you decide to marry is your decision only. People can offer you great advice, but they will not be the one who wakes up with the person you say I do to, you will. Make sure it is your decision.
  3. Preparation for marriage does not begin when you get engaged. You should already be looking like a wife, walking like a wife, and talking like a wife. The Bible says a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor. If you still look like you are available, you may attract a man, but not necessarily your husband.
  4. Surround yourself with couples who have successful marriages, that can plug a nugget in here and there. There are many biblical principles that will work for every marriage. However, different people respond to situations in different ways. Get some insight that may prepare you for marriage and then use the tools to figure out what may or may not work for you. Once again, every marriage is different.
  5. Don’t marry just for love. Love runs out. Feelings change. There truly is a thin line between love and hate. Love alone is not enough to get married. There also needs to be purpose and commitment. Your spouse should be able to walk with you, and support you as the two of you fulfill your purpose together.
  6. There is no such thing as “the one” You will spend the rest of your life looking for “the one” when all you need to do as let God send “the right one” for you. God won’t make you marry anyone. We have free will. But he will guide you along the way.  Let him lead you.
  7. Relationships are work. If you have to work really hard to get along before you get married…you will work overtime to keep the marriage. Common decency towards one another should come naturally. If it is hard for them to treat you right, give it some thought.
  8. There should be some common interests. If there are certain things that you absolutely love and they can’t stand, you need to be okay with that if you pursue a future together.
  9. You need to know what your deal breakers and your boundaries are before they come along. If your boundary is “no house visits”, that should be respected. People who have no respect for your boundaries have no respect for you…and vice versa. If your deal breaker is him not wanting kids, don’t compromise. If you want children wait on the one God sends you who wants them as well.
  10. There should be respect being shown on both sides. If your mate belittles you, threatens you, tries to control you, blames you for his/her mistakes…that is a serious red flag!
  11. If you can’t be honest with the person you are seeing, you may have personal issues. If the person makes you feel uncomfortable being you and being honest about your life, that might be a red flag.
  12. Lastly, like the quote says….don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son like him. That is a good thought because chances are, if you have children…they may be like the person you marry.

Wait on the Lord and again I say wait. If you want to be married, prepare yourself to be married. And while you wait, make God your number one and keep him as your number one even after the husband or the wife comes. Two plus God can last forever.

Be encouraged,

T Brown

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