If you don’t date your spouse, somebody else will!

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Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Just a rule of thumb, if you don’t date your spouse somebody else will. Oftentimes, we find ourselves going through the motions in our marriage. First, it starts of great. We are going out, having a good time, laughing and enjoying life. Once you get married and children start popping up, where does the romance go? You are lucky if you have time to do a full facial cleansing before bed, let alone trying to spend some quality time together. Don’t miss out on what matters the most. You and your spouse are the foundation of your home. If you lose you, you lose the family.

Don’t let a third party sneak their way into your relationship. You heard about the three strand cord. That is you, your spouse, and God…not the side chick. Keep the back door closed, windows shut, and other people out! In other words, you need to take care of home. Remember the important  conversations that you should be having. Women need communication. If you are ignoring your wife, you better believe someone else will pay attention to her and listen to her talk. A good conversation for a woman compares to what a man feels when he sees an attractive woman. She needs her intellect stimulated if you want her attention.

Women if you don’t take the time to show interest in something he likes, another woman will. Sometimes you just have to sacrifice your selfish desires to keep him happy. You have to let him know what a good provider he is and how much you appreciate the things that he is doing. Men feel unappreciated just like women do. Stroking his ego can get you that conversation that you need, that will lead him to what he needs. It will come around full circle. 

And yes, there are going to be times when one will reach out and the other doesn’t respond. Those are the relationships that are in trouble. You need to literally take the time to figure out how did you get there. Constant rejection, disrespect, neglect, bad attitudes, infidelity,and other things can lead to a disconnect. You are going to have to work at resolving the issues before you can get back into the dating. But that is something we will get into on another post. 

In the mean time here are a few things you can do to keep that fire burning or to rekindle the spark that is dying out. 

1. Remember what made you fall in love in the first place. People change over the years and you may need to remind yourself of what attracted you in the first place.

2. Tell them something good! Take the time to compliment your spouse everyday, whether it is a new hairstyle, they washed the car, a new outfit, or something random they did.

3. Fix yourself up! This goes for men and women both.Put them sweats away and put something nice on. Help your spouse remember why they are attracted to you. Having children is no excuse! 

3. Get a babysitter and plan a romantic date. If money is tight, turn your room into a romantic oasis. Use a little candle light, music, sparkling white grape juice, and whatever you come up with. And put the grandma pajamas back in the drawer and pull out your good stuff. If you don’t know where to find any, ask Victoria-she knows the secret. 🙂

4. Double date! It is so much easier to cancel plans when it is just you, but when you make plans with someone else it forces you to follow through. Besides, it is so much fun too laugh at each stories. It helps you realize you aren’t the only crazy couple in town. 🙂

5. Join Heart Matters With James & Jessica Carter.  They plan international date nights every month. The good thing is, no matter what country, city, or state you are in you can participate. They give great ideas, words of encouragement, and so much more. https://www.facebook.com/HeartMattersJJC  or follow them on twitter @HeartMattersJJC 

Well, we are praying for all of the marriages and I hope something you read encouraged you to date your spouse again. If you are a strong couple and you see a young couple struggling, encourage them. They need to see that marriage can last forever. 

Have a blessed weekend!

T Brown

 

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