If you don’t date your spouse, somebody else will!



Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Just a rule of thumb, if you don’t date your spouse somebody else will. Oftentimes, we find ourselves going through the motions in our marriage. First, it starts of great. We are going out, having a good time, laughing and enjoying life. Once you get married and children start popping up, where does the romance go? You are lucky if you have time to do a full facial cleansing before bed, let alone trying to spend some quality time together. Don’t miss out on what matters the most. You and your spouse are the foundation of your home. If you lose you, you lose the family.

Don’t let a third party sneak their way into your relationship. You heard about the three strand cord. That is you, your spouse, and God…not the side chick. Keep the back door closed, windows shut, and other people out! In other words, you need to take care of home. Remember the important  conversations that you should be having. Women need communication. If you are ignoring your wife, you better believe someone else will pay attention to her and listen to her talk. A good conversation for a woman compares to what a man feels when he sees an attractive woman. She needs her intellect stimulated if you want her attention.

Women if you don’t take the time to show interest in something he likes, another woman will. Sometimes you just have to sacrifice your selfish desires to keep him happy. You have to let him know what a good provider he is and how much you appreciate the things that he is doing. Men feel unappreciated just like women do. Stroking his ego can get you that conversation that you need, that will lead him to what he needs. It will come around full circle. 

And yes, there are going to be times when one will reach out and the other doesn’t respond. Those are the relationships that are in trouble. You need to literally take the time to figure out how did you get there. Constant rejection, disrespect, neglect, bad attitudes, infidelity,and other things can lead to a disconnect. You are going to have to work at resolving the issues before you can get back into the dating. But that is something we will get into on another post. 

In the mean time here are a few things you can do to keep that fire burning or to rekindle the spark that is dying out. 

1. Remember what made you fall in love in the first place. People change over the years and you may need to remind yourself of what attracted you in the first place.

2. Tell them something good! Take the time to compliment your spouse everyday, whether it is a new hairstyle, they washed the car, a new outfit, or something random they did.

3. Fix yourself up! This goes for men and women both.Put them sweats away and put something nice on. Help your spouse remember why they are attracted to you. Having children is no excuse! 

3. Get a babysitter and plan a romantic date. If money is tight, turn your room into a romantic oasis. Use a little candle light, music, sparkling white grape juice, and whatever you come up with. And put the grandma pajamas back in the drawer and pull out your good stuff. If you don’t know where to find any, ask Victoria-she knows the secret. 🙂

4. Double date! It is so much easier to cancel plans when it is just you, but when you make plans with someone else it forces you to follow through. Besides, it is so much fun too laugh at each stories. It helps you realize you aren’t the only crazy couple in town. 🙂

5. Join Heart Matters With James & Jessica Carter.  They plan international date nights every month. The good thing is, no matter what country, city, or state you are in you can participate. They give great ideas, words of encouragement, and so much more. https://www.facebook.com/HeartMattersJJC  or follow them on twitter @HeartMattersJJC 

Well, we are praying for all of the marriages and I hope something you read encouraged you to date your spouse again. If you are a strong couple and you see a young couple struggling, encourage them. They need to see that marriage can last forever. 

Have a blessed weekend!

T Brown



Women in the Waiting on the Radio- Victory 1075 Atlanta

Women in the Waiting on the Radio- Victory 1075 Atlanta

I am excited to announce the Women in the Waiting book will be making a debut on the radio show “Peace in Living Today”, on Victory 1075 Atlanta. Tune in tonight at 6:00 pm. Let’s chat it up and get the word out. Marriages are failing everyday, but there is hope! God can heal, deliver, and restore your marriage. This book ministers to the woman waiting for that change. Call in to show your support, and you may just be the blessed caller who receives a signed copy of the book free. God bless you!

Are you busy doing everything and accomplishing nothing?

Are you busy doing everything and accomplishing nothing? Sometimes, our intentions are to get up and spend that much needed time doing laundry, catching up on e-mails, or spending time with God. But before you know it, one of the children has a fever, someone needs you to do them a favor, the phone rings and the person on the other end takes up half of your day. Women, we have to get a grip on our lives and sometimes we have to learn to say no. Our time is limited and it must be prioritized.

Proverbs 11:1 says A false balance is abomination to the LORD: but a just weight is his delight. Like shekels on a scale, our lives don’t always balance out! Oftentimes, we think we are pleasing God because we are spending a lot of our time doing good things, but not enough of our time doing the most necessary thing. Let me give you a few examples. 

Scenario # 1 You can be at work all day, get off and run errands, cook dinner, help with homework, clean the dishes, prepare for the next day, and hit the bed exhausted!

Scenario #2 You can be in church all day, volunteering at the church all week, putting together church programs, and preparing lessons. Feeling like the only one who is stepping up, you easily get irritated through the planning and preparing stages, and find yourself complaining about everything and by the end of it all you are just tired and frustrated.  

Scenario#3 You can drop the kids off to school, clean house all day, take care of the baby, do laundry, go grocery shopping, volunteer at the school, do your own homework, pick the kids up from school, cook the dinner, take the kids to their after school activities, clean the dinner dishes, iron the kids clothes for the next day, make time for the husband,and finally get to bed.

You probably fit in one, part of one or all of the scenarios and I am tired just imagining your lives. We didn’t even include you taking care of your sick parent, or praying for people and all of the other good things you do. All of these things are great, but if we leave God out of the equation then all we are doing is works! And yes it feels like work. We have to take the time to evaluate the situation and make an executive decision to change the course of our days!

  • First you must remember to keep Jesus at the center of it all and everything revolves around him. By the way that is a wonderful song that Israel Houghton sings and I love it! Keep Jesus at the forefront of your day.
  • Dedicate your day to God daily. “Lord, I thank you for waking me up and giving me life. Direct me on what to do during each hour.”
  • Write a list of to do’s. You need a list for the month, then break down the monthly things into weeks. Then, spread the “to do’s” evenly throughout your days. Don’t try to do it all in one day!
  • Try not to fill up every weekend with activities that tire you out. Make time for Rest & Relaxation.
  • Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. You cannot do it all by yourself.
  • Don’t feel guilty if you can’t find the time to put your kids in every activity the world has to offer. Teach them balance and allow them to choose what they would like to do most. They will appreciate not being overwhelmed in their lives as well.
  • Schedule date nights if you are married. Don’t go to bed so exhausted every night, someone my wind up disappointed.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST- Learn to say no sometimes. Don’t feel obligated to rescue everyone in your life. Have you ever heard the phrase “I have too much on my plate”? You need to choose what you want on your plate. Don’t let people dump their half cooked food and scraps on your plate and you end up sick trying to eat it. If they take control of their own lives and properly prepare the food they need to eat, believe me- they won’t try to dump it on you. They will eat it, enjoy it, and tell you how good it was.

Be encouraged women of God. We have a lot to take on, but with God all things are possible! Well, I hope this encouraged you. Share this with someone else and please let me know your thoughts!

with the love of Christ, 

T Brown